A reader writes to Eric Kohn about an invitation to stay with his two friends, who often engage in trekking together, but their responses were more muted or passive. One friend suggested that he should be more specific in setting out the dates or weekends he's offering to clarify his intentions. Another friend, however, felt it's not up to the invited to clarify their intentions. This could explain their reluctance. Kohn suggests a no-pressure conversation about this issue, but may not necessarily be a bad thing. Koon: Don't forget to consider the possibility of living according to your values and that if they don't share these values, they may not see it as the same as you do.