My father, a recovering alcoholic and Alcoholics Anonymous member, began stealing from stores and stores when he was a teenager, using Afrin nasal spray as a substitute for his addiction to heroin, cocaine, and alcohol. His actions were met with suspicion and shame, which both girls identified as their own as their fathers. The author describes her own struggle to overcome this compulsion and eventually found success in law school, but struggled to maintain this self-destructive cycle for nearly a decade. After his death, she felt adrift and unsure of her identity and purpose. She enlisted several therapists to help her overcome the compulsion, but couldn't bring herself to tell them the reason they were hired.