A recent divorce has led to a common post-divorce trap: "I don't care about my ex anymore. I do care deeply about our daughter. However, when her ex accuses me of not caring about me, I find myself defending my love for our child. This is a collision between the past relationship and current parenting relationship, which are no longer the same thing. Good ex-etiquette involves avoiding defending your feelings and avoiding engaging in the past with an accusation of fear, resentment or loss. Instead, acknowledge the concern without directly addressing the accusation and avoiding challenging the present-day conflict. The author suggests that good ex-eiquette requires emotional clarity and avoidance of repeat episodes of conflict.