My boyfriend, who has been with my boyfriend for over two years, has been messaging women on dating apps and Craigslist, and possibly hooking up with trans women. He was also talking to and possibly dating with several people. His behavior has been inconsistent and confusing, and he insists that he is the one he wants to be with. Despite this, he has not physically cheated on him and has been avoiding physical contact since last year. His actions were described as manipulation and deflection, which he used as a cover for his behavior. The author suggests that trust is built by transparency, accountability and changed behavior, not by reacting to the situation. She also notes that trans women are not a loophole or fetish or a technicality; they are not responsible for your boyfriend's choices.