Abigail Van Buren's partner recently allowed a friend to stay in their home without telling her in advance, causing significant disruption to her mental well-being and sense of safety. The guest's behavior disrupted the home, including messy shared spaces, personal belongings and decor rearranged, and even moved items from a van into our home. This has caused tension and left the woman feeling unsupported by her partner. If this happens regularly, you may need to rethink the relationship and make different living arrangements. The relationship can be repaired if you can talk and reestablish basic ground rules, according to a licensed psychotherapist.