A 60-year-old man has feelings for his female friend, who is 20 years younger, but they don't have a romantic relationship. He fears that if he reveals his feelings, it could damage their friendship. If this is not mutual, he may be free to find another woman who reciprocates. In another instance, a man recently retired from a 25-year law enforcement career, his mother didn't give him a congratulatory card and lectured him about taking time for himself after his retirement. The writer suggests that it's time to stop coddling your co-worker and instead praise her for her mistakes.