After 40 years of doing all chores and maintenance, my wife, now 79, has advised her husband, who has become complacency and refuses to follow through. He has run the dishwasher when it's only a quarter full and even does laundry without separating colors. He also vacuums without moving anything, and when asked about the toilet, sink, countertop, bathtub, and floor, he becomes belligerent. The author suggests that a third party may be needed to help resolve this tension. She also notes that a significant amount of pent-up frustration is due to not having your efforts matched by his.